


To See the Hate You Give

by ShiShiro



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And trying to work this site, Angst, As one would, Holy hell was is it so difficult, I have a learning disability, It takes me hours, M/M, Naruto changes, Naruto loses his eyes, Naruto loses his eyesight, Not sure if there will be a pairing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Konoha 12, Protective Sasuke, Similarities to MoDaoZuShi, Takigakure is similar to MoDaoZuShi, Trying to publish anything on this site is absolute hell, What is it like, is just to much, to not be able to see the cold stares of the ones who hate you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2020-03-07 04:12:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18865468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiShiro/pseuds/ShiShiro
Summary: Not a typical wrong mission.Naruto loses his eyesight, or maybe his eyes? And you know what they say, when you lose one sense your others are heighten.Or a case where suddenly not being able to see the cold stares of the villagers brings change.





	1. Chapter 1

It was a situation born of a successful mission. Something as ludicrous as that sounds but true all the same. The boy went out alone and fought all alone and obtained the subject all alone as it was. The goal was to go and retrieve a severed hand of a fallen Shinobi of the Hidden Waterfall village. The Takigakure village sent out the request help saying that the hand, and more or less the rest of the body, laid somewhere between the border of the Hidden Rain village and the Hidden Stone Village and that the arm contained a coded message to be brought back to Takigakure urgently for the benefit of the village. Not one to sounder an opportunity to strengthen allies Konohagakure quickly and quietly sent out the only Shinobi with the stamina to make the week and three day long trek into a four day trip and still have enough energy to fight should the need arise. 

Uzumaki Naruto was sent out. 

The boy left and in his excitement surpassed all expectations and made what was a suppose to be a week and three day long trek turned into a thought out four day trip into and three and a quarter day trip including snack break and found the scattered cut up remains and disembodied hand in the sewer drain tunnel right by the North-East border of the Hidden Stone Village. Surprisingly the cut off head was face up next to his objective. The hand was a bit shriveled and grayish blue at the base while the very tips of the fingers were specked with black from and unknown origin. Decomposition had already set to the rest of the body which was bloated and grotesque from the gases of the human form, the face was no longer recognizable. Rigor mortis had come and went and so the hand hung limp.  
The boy stared at the misshaped remains of a human face longer then most would before he wrapped the grayish blue hand with the black tips in a cloth and left. He arrived in Takigakure in a couple of days.  
All should have been finished. The main objective had been located and brought back. The boy faced no foes in his travels. Everything was completed and the hand was handed over to the  
clientele. 

But sometimes a good story isn't born from a mission gone wrong.  
Sometimes horror is created even if you have done everything right.  
The limp and rived limb that lay on the table in between the lone boy and residential Shinobi twitched violently. Its veins popped as it stuttered and flexed in a dissociated way. The boy moved back but it was all for naught. The last thing he saw was all black with a bit a grayish blue. 

The village chiefs apologized profusely over and over again sending letter after letter and even offering to send a more personal messenger to rectify themselves. Tsunade, the leader of Konohakagure instead demanded answers and offered to alternately send herself over to settle her nerves all the while Takigakure sent back scroll after scroll of hidden information of the secrets of their clan as well as three guards, two messengers, a small chest of riches and a boy with a dark red cloth covering the area of his eyes.  
The trip back took longer then a week and three days. 

\---

Tsunade was someone who prided herself on her accomplishments but also was haunted by her mistakes. Being a world renown medic meant nothing if her loved ones had to suffer. She walked with purpose through the hospital with room 210 in her sights. Her head was held even as she gripped and tighten the medical gloves around her hand and the sounds of her heels clicking on the floor drowned out the sound of her assistant, Shizune, pushing the first-aid repair cart behind her. She finally got the pest Taki-nins to leave and left the chest of riches on her desk in her office. If all goes well she was going to buy out every liquor store in Konoha and buy off every merchant that entered. If things did not look good she was going to willing hand over the chest to one of her most (alive-) loved people. Money can't buy the blonde brat's happiness but it sure could help oen of them. 

The dizzying thoughts of 'what-ifs?' and 'maybe this' ricocheted in her head. The scrolls that explained how a detached hand could regain life so to speak lay in the cart Shizune was pushing. Not an overall great place to put scrolls that were held with such importance but at the moment she didn't care. At the moment she only had one thing to care about and that was the blonde brat that always slammed opened her office door and looked at her with those eyes-

Tsunade stopped outside of room 210 for just a second so she could collect herself. All intruding thoughts left her head as she brought forward ever and all medical practice she learned throughout her (long) life. She was going to make she her blonde brat was okay. She was going to make this okay. She told herself to image the taste of the rose sake she was dying to try, and as her imagination lingered on her tongue she slid open the door. 

No alcohol was bought that night, but the chest still sits on her office desk. 

That night she stared at the window blankly. Replying the scene from before again and again in her head and wondering just why had she stopped. In all her practice of first aid she never had someone that just refused to be healed outside of war time. Not like this. Looking out to the tree above her the red colored leaves reminded her of the blood soaked cloth wrapped around her brat's eyes. She could feel it in her breath when she went to undo the bandaging and could still hear his voice like he was still saying it. Like he was standing over her shoulder right now repeating himself. She looked down to her cup of water and saw the bloody cloth still lingering in her minds eye. The word he spoke simple exploding in her head as if he shouted it. 

'Don't.'


	2. Getting a Footing

                   It's been a couple of months since the corpse arm incident but Uzumaki Naruto showed no signs of being disturbed by his new found blindness. However, even though time has past the only people who have saw Naruto himself was the civilians of Konohagakure, a scattered amount of ninja and the Anbu that try and watch over him. It was by Naruto's request that he had no contact with his teammates or old classmates. Tsunade would have questioned it but...well. Ever since he returned back home the air around him has changed. If she was to be poetic about it, anyone meeting Uzumaki Naruto would have their breath stolen by his pure chaotic aura. At a distant and with a smile it will ease you, but the closer he gets the more unsettling it becomes. Standing side by side the boy, one would feel and hear the low, heavy, beating of a drum. Starting in rhythm but never reaching the climax pitch one expects. A burn overcomes your body and images of ravenous shadows dancing around a fire with gleaming fangs appear in your mind so quick you think it was false. Sometimes in battle a handful of Shinobi remark on hearing chanting and howling underneath the Uzumaki's words so low in sound it messes with the mind. That was Uzumaki Naruto.

                  This Naruto was still Naruto. But the ease of the agitating chanting and drums that always hung low underneath his skin would be noticed by anyone, even be it a child. Tsunade was still mulling the new feeling over in her mind though. She had passed Naruto as he was heading out to the woods were he now preferred to go (not without Anbu keeping an eye out she hoped) and instead of passing by the war march she was met with a steady steam, wind chimes blowing, cool mint and _quiet._ No low chanting, no howling or yips or a beat that just kept going. No heat of standing near a forest fire. Nothing. ( _Tsuande was reminded of a time when she said something awful about Sasuke a while back, and Naruto had gotten so angry. He leaned in over her desk and his breath nearly scorched her. A sickeningly sweet smell of hot cinnamon. Such a strong sensation that she even checked her face once he left.. Now though, doing a checkup of Naruto before he was discharged, she leaned down to monitor his heartbeat and said something that made him giggle. His puff of air washed over he face and she was assaulted by cool mint and frozen ice._ ) It is for this change in something only seen by the third eyes that Tsunade let Naruto do as he wants for now. She instructed his friends to leave him be and recover and most took it without complaint ( _Shikamaru, Sakura, Neji, Kakashi and Iruka have been in her office nearly everyday arguing to take him into their own homes and take care of him)_ and she rented Naruto a new place closer to the woods and away from the bustling streets of his old apartment so he could simply travel a straight path without worrying of walking into someone he wished to not see. He had been grateful, his smile like a crack on a frozen lake rather than the sun coming behind clouds, and then asked to be left alone from her as well. They argued about that. She pointed out that he was asking for to much considering his test results came back clean and he pointed out that since he was healthy she didn't need to watch over him. He also told her that as the Hokage she could not play favorites and skip her duties to attend to someone who wasn't ill. They both knew he was right. Only one of them knew just how cutting those remarks were. As she was letting him go she commented on sending some of her Anbu to keep and ~~eye~~ -to watch over him. He simply laughed telling Tsunade that the Anbu can babysit him if they can catch him and left it at that. She now realized what he meant as the Anbu she sent out had trouble keeping up with him once he was inside the woods. An amazing feat if not for the fact that he should have been crippled with his eyesight gone.

 A whole lot of something was happening with Naruto. Thing she didn't know what to do about. But, Tsunade did know she had to talk to Shikamaru.

                    The locals around the area Naruto has been relocated to have now falling into a set schedule. Around early morning while everyone was still getting set up for the day; shops opening shutters and mothers going to fetch fresh eggs for breakfast and the sun painting the sky a blush of pink, a soft _tak tak tak_ would appear in the distance before the figure came into view. Uzumaki Naruto would make his way through the small crowd of awakening villagers. People would part while looking at the young man unabashedly, not feeling at hint of guilt since the person they stared at couldn't see their gaze. The watched as he came down from the small hill with a white cloth covering his eyes and long bamboo walking stick lightly tapping the ground before him. The Uzumaki boy hadn't put his trademark jumpsuit on after he was discharged and instead wore a typical hospital kimono pulled tight and a long Hoari drapped over his shoulders. It looked near disgusting on someone who was always permanently happy and healthy. As some people do, some merchants would whisper about the boy, forgetting it was his sight gone and not his ears, about how unholy the boy appeared wearing white around his eyes.

_'White ribbon around the eyes'_

_'Only the dead wear it like that'_

_'Shouldn't someone stop him?'_

_'He looks like a walking corpse.'_

As the whispers followed him the boy and the tapping continued forward before disappearing into the distant woods. The people would go about their day without another though only for the tapping to return around eight o'clock on schedule. The boy would then return to his home only being trailed by the stares and chattering of those who knew nothing. He kept moving forward to the whispers that plagued him fell behind.

.

.

.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments help inspire me.


	3. I Can't Get a Handle on Things Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Elianlovescats and Omi_Smith; Thank you both for leaving valuable feedback! I truly, honestly appreciate it. I hope this new chapter lives up to your expectations.  
> Quick Chapter Breakdown(QCB); Naruto is struggling with his new blindness and his new revelation.  
> Characters who appear in this Chapter; Uzumaki Naruto, few un-named villagers, brief mention of Shikamaru.

     I am Uzumaki Naruto, and my dreams are filled with the last thing I saw.

         I woke up from my pain filled dream with a gasp expecting to see the sunlight drifting in through the window by my bed only to feel like I didn't even open my eyes at all. I didn't move, just laid there and listened instead. I heard the sound of birds chirping in the distance and even further than that the sound of children chattering. Gently, I lifted my hands to my eyes where I prodded around my temples carefully. I didn't want to check but I always check. I prodded closer to my eyelids' bottom.                                         

     My eyes were opened.

    _Check._

I sighed loudly and purposefully let my hands dramatically flop back down. My eyes were open but it's dark. It's dark but the sounds outside are typical sounds of morning. My eyes are definitely open. Before I could get into my new pattern of continuously checking my eyes I forced myself bolt upright. Right, let's go to the forest shall we?

_(I ignored my brains' attempt to tell me to open my eyes to start they day. I pushed it away.)_

      This new place that Tsuande-Baachan has put me in is wide-spaced and decent enough. Actually, even without looking I could tell by the sound of my feet on the floor and the smell that this place is better than my apartment. To be fair my apartment was old even before I started living in it. I think it was a part of some constructions plan that got abandoned down the line, which isn't unusual in parts of Konoha. There is even an abandoned school somewhere where all the kids used to reference to for ghost stories. I only had to hear one of those tales before I prayed to never bump into that place.

     I steadied myself with the wall and made my way quickly to the bathroom. Quickly only because of my pride at being able to map out places. It's a talent I have been cultivating since I was a child. I bet other people would be going slowly and using each foot as a way to feel their way through. Not me though. I mean, I'm not good at a lot of things, so I try to find anything to be proud of. Figuring out a floor plan fast may not seem like much but it's something considering I can barley do anything right.

_I know this. I know this but still-_

      I reached the bathroom and stumbled my way to put toothpaste on my toothbrush in a need to fix the taste in my mouth. The images that flash through my head before I bolt awake always leave the taste of blood in my throat. But that's okay. It's okay that I'm having these dreams. I wish I didn't but it's better me than anyone else is how I feel. Still, I feel like my teeth are coated whenever I awake and I can't really check in the mirror. I firmly remind myself of that as I spit into the sink and my instincts tell me to open my eyes when I lean back up. Deep instincts that are always there but you never pay attention to them until a moment like this are much harder to ignore than other instincts. A memory suddenly flashed up before I could stop it;

' _Ne, Naruto, haven't you ever heard about your nose?'_

_'Eh? What are you talking about Shikamaru?? What's wrong with my nose?'                                                                                                                                                                                              'Nothing's wrong with it, what I'm saying is, is that a person can always see their nose in their eyesight, but their brain chooses to ignore it. It's not important to have to register it every second of the day you know?'_

_'...EHHHHH?!?! No no no that can't be! Your nose?!?' I tilted my head this way and that and crossed my eyes to look at my nose. I can't believe it but you can see it! Wow! There and there it's always there!_

_'Ngk...'_

_'Ah? Shikamaru?' I turned back to him but his back was turned. He had his hand to his mouth and his ears were red. I crept closer to hear him mutter 'something about 'cute' under his breath. Well! So, he just said that to make me make a weird face and then laugh at me! How mean! I couldn't stop my lip from gutting out. I thought we were having a good time together. I stood up in front of him quickly and yelled; 'Shikamaru is an idiot!' and ran off while sticking my tongue out. Not stopping even if he called me. Using the distance to hide the ache I felt at being used_ \- I slapped my hand harshly against the bathroom door frame to bring me out of those memories before I could go in deeper. I didn't really want to think about....my friends right now. I did but I didn't. Not right now. Instead, I'll change my clothes and head out. I listened to the sound of my night clothes being unbuttoned and falling to the floor. I always miss the button right in the middle and have to go back to it even though I swear I'm taking my time to feel for it. This new place... I think is what they call a six tatami room. It isn't very big but it makes up for it in quality I thought as I rubbed my toes against the floor. This material is something else. At my apartment I know what floorboards to avoid because the squeak so much but it's different here.

        I sunk to my knees and made a grabby motion with my hand to the boxes that held my underclothes. My hands brushed past something cold and I picked up what sounded like a package. Obviously I couldn't tell what was in it, and I felt my eyes could have teared up begging me to open them to take a look. But I sniff it instead and rose wood came out. Ah, it was one of those gifts the Takigakure ninjas gave me. Clothing I think. I didn't mind the clothing there. It looked different from what I'm used to but it was very interesting! Very pretty and I like pretty things. I just wished I could enjoy the things I found pretty though...I might get made fun of. I'm used to having some of my interest mocked so, I try to keep my personal hobbies to myself. Like gardening. If I told my friends I liked to garden they might say mean things like _'Gardening? Can someone so scattered brain like you do something like that?'_ or ' _Those poor plants...you better give them to me, I bet you aren't taking care of them right.'_ I don't want anything I really enjoy taken away from me. They might not say those things but, they might say them and there is really no way to tell....

       … _No way to tell..huh?_

         I froze, but the sound of outside told me the world was still moving. The chirps of the birds and chattering of people seemed to get louder and louder as if they all were approaching my window to just stand outside of it. My hands automatically went to my eyes- I didn't want to think about this anymore. Think about something else...quickly.

        I clutched my hand to my chest and used my other to leaned heavily on the door frame. I can feel myself start to breathe heavily. I don't want to go out. I don't want to go. What if they are standing at my door watching me? I don't want to go.

_But I didn't want to be here even more._

       I want to be in the forest. I'm going to the forest. I can do this. I'm just going to focus on the sounds of the walking stick. I reached for it where I put it last. A shuddered breath I tried to keep down come out as I focused on the cool feeling of the bamboo and the scent of it. I was staid on my knees as I gripped the bamboo from above and leaned my head against the nice cool feeling. I was still only half dress, so I threw on the hospital issued short sleeve kimono I've been wearing and the hoari. I did my best to not let go of my walking stick. _I want to be in the forest, so I'm going to the forest._      

     I tied the cloth around my eyes and stood towards where I knew the door was. Opening the door my ears perked at the sound of life waking up in the village and I stepped out. It was still loud, still too loud. I took a small breathe as I lifted my cane up and at the same time of my exhale I slammed the end to the ground-

_TAK!_

Much softer then

_Tak_ Inhale for four seconds.

_Tak_ hold breath for seven seconds.

_Tak_      let it all out.

     I stood there in a quiet, meditative state. Tears of relief could have spilled out of my eyes for learning this technique for Sage Mode as the worry and anxiousness I had bled away leaving nothing behind but empty. Sometimes a person feels too much fire in their lives, and in order to calm down they need some ice. My mind and soul has stopped spinning now and with another breath I went forward focusing on the sound of the bamboo like a ripple in still water. I can almost see the ripples in the darkness myself.

_Meditation Stance 4; Traveling Verse_.

        A deep meditative stance that you can keep while moving. Not an easy technique.

_Tak_ I wish I didn't have-

_Tak_     to be in such a deep trance

_Tak_        to cross paths with others

_Tak_           But-

_Tak_

_But_

          My world has been shrouded in darkness that I can't escape. I say that but...as I moved through the street vague shrouds start form. Grayish in color human in shape. Like scattered lines that cross and twist and fill up a vase in different sizes but all still human shape. There are no facial features, no features of any kind. Just a colored silhouette. These Ghost (but they aren't ghost are they) I don't approach them, and they don't approach me. They stay at a distant I have known for all my life. Familiar habits that ring a bell so deep in myself it would be impossible to misunderstand. Even for me.

         I walked about halfway through the street now. Watching without watching as these shrouds mosied on with their day. I heard a rubber ball bounce to my direction and stopped short as it rolled to my feet. I began to sweat. I tilted my head down and peered (is it peering?) at the incredibly small gray form approaching my right side. I knelled down to its height and grabbed the ball on the third try. The light giggle made me think it was a little girl, and I turned to give the ball back. However, behind the gray form red appeared, and the ball fell from my grasp. Darker and much denser. Standing behind the gray there was s sickening color overcome my sight. I felt like I could have drowned in it.

_Ah_

The only thing I could dimly think as the red began to drag the gray away and a deep deep ache started in my chest, and the familiar taste of something on my tongue began to rise. I've seen this scene so many times. The mass of red human-shaped form was telling the gray form of a formless child to always stay away from me. It was whispered, like it always was. As if my new found vision-less existence meant I also couldn't hear.

_Ah._

_Meditation Stance 5; Eviscerate_

I focused inwards. I turned my blood into ice and breath into mist. My flesh was made of stone and my bones of cold crystal the aches with frost bite. This meditative stance isn't good for long periods. Isn't healthy. But, I can no longer sense human beings. I can't see them now. I am alone in the middle of the street now. This stance isn't meant for traveling. It hurts and each movement feels like I'm trying to break out from underneath a glacier. But that's alright. It's all alright.

I'm alone now. Just me and the hail storm within.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments help inspire me. Tell me what you thought?


	4. Get Off My Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naruto has a confrontation with someone

         Uzumaki Naruto let out a breath as he finally stood in the middle of a secluded but small forest. Away from eyes he couldn't see but glances he could still feel, his tense stance seemed to melt away like ice under a harsh sun glare. The boy swayed on the spot as he let go of his meditative stance and relaxed his soul that has, up to this point, been wound tight from the excursion of walking in such a difficult technique. It would not be know to many people, in fact such a talent was mainly reserved for a thousand year old monks, but some meditation methods hold more than just one form.

         Meditation Stance 5; Eviscerate. A powerful meditation stance. Most stances are used to connect one being with the world like the earth, trees, birds, and animals. Stance 5, Eviscerate is a much more potent form nicknamed from rumors as 'The Connection to God.' More common stances focus inward like a breath, and then outward to the world and all the creatures that live. Eviscerate, however, focuses inward with a breath, then inward still. A breath that goes in and in and in, like tumbling in a mirror. It shakes the very core of a person as instead of the living beings one is connected to, the connection instead is made for the very atoms that make up the world. Yes, it is such a powerful and dangerous technique that not even the most hopeful and determined devotee has a chance of ever achieving this stance in five hundred lifetimes. Why then, you ask, does one Uzumaki Naruto come to be able to use such a meditative stance? It is just as was said, only those who have lived through five hundred lifetimes can hope of carrying out such an ordeal, and Naruto is able to live countless lives.

        The Taju Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, a signature move, is a dangerous tool . Any information found or experienced by the clone is then given to the creator once it disperses. If the clone is killed, the sensation of being killed is also brought back. The clones, who can feel sensations, who can hold conversations with others and has memories from the caster. These clones who have a will to fight and a will to live, who experience emotions of their own. How awful, one must wonder, it has to be to go into battle and lose? To feel the rush of fear as the finishing blow comes. To die and watch yourself die. To die and live and then continue to die over and over and over and over again. While some clones are made and put into battle quickly, it does not erase having the last moment of an extension of yourself and your very will come back to you in large amounts.

Uzumaki Naruto has never been know to just make one clone at one time.

_Perhaps it is a jutsu for the lonely indeed?_

        Yes, seeing and feeling his own death so many numerous times has allowed Naruto to connect deeper with the universe has a whole. It is a wonder if the cost is worth it? At this point, he has to think, being able to block out something he truly doesn't want to acknowledge has made all the pain and existential dread worth it. At the moment at least.

       Stepping out of this trance is similar to taking tons and pounds of armor off that has been worn for months at a time and even someone as experienced as Naruto cannot go without feeling the exhausted of utilizing Stance 5. He stood on shaky legs, thankful that they were hidden under the hospital robe, and gasped for breath with his head tilted back. He would reach for a tree to lean on but that would mean focusing on the present and that was a no for right now. He knew he probably looked a fool as he waved an arm widely about in hopes of catching on something before all but collapsing on a sturdy tree trunk wider than himself. His arms scratched for purchase and his legs screamed to just let them collapse under the weight of re-emerging from the depths of the universe itself but Naruto was nothing if not stubborn and even in a secluded forest alone he still refused to show weakness, whether or not it really was.

        At the moment as he stood on unsteady legs, not focusing inward or outward he truly felt sightless. Alone.

        He tore the cloth around his eyes off and listened to it fall to the ground. He concentrated on the physical sensations. The bark that itched his hands and forearms. His chest moving in and out, rubbing against the base of the tree as he continued to clutch onto it. The feel of the grass in between his toes and the soft earth at his feet, and the wind running across his face. Carefully the sounds of the world came back to him as he forcefully slowed his breathing down and down. The sound of a Bush Warbler ahead brought him back more. Naruto toke one last deep breath and lowered his hands to rest in front of him as he laid his forehead against the tree, letting the sensation of his cool head resting on the warm and sturdy bark ground him. He calmed down.

_'_ _Oh no...using that type of meditation method might be to bad after all. I think I started to hyperventilate.'_ He thought distantly.

        His head felt heavy. But he knew that since the start of losing his sight it always felt heavy. It was the kind of sensation you ignore until it's pointed out. And the headache from doing something dangerous is really pointing it out. He let out a huff of breath in a laugh before standing straight. The terrible feeling of having one's head being ground together at the temple while simultaneously having unbalanced weights attached faded to just a throb and now he wanted to relax. He got a little turned around without realizing it in the search of something to steady him. He went to look for the path, his body trying to open his eyes that were already open. The deep feeling in his chest when he makes this mistake settled for a moment as he danced around trying to find the slightly worn path that would take him to the rock formation he was looking for. In the middle of this small patch of forest he found what felt like a huge rock with a little indent at just about his height. He liked to sit in that cubby space, it felt warm and kind of soothed him being surrounded like that, even if it were just rocks. He always liked small spaces he could fit into though. He felt the area where pine needles were patted down and waited for the wind he already cataloged before he left to blow, telling him the direction he should be going. As he was walking towards what he hoped was the rock formation he began to think about all the trouble he would get in as a kid when trying to squeeze into any space he could like various boxes and crates in the streets or even the vents in the Hokage's office-

_“Naruto?”_

He stopped immediately.

        The clearing he was in seemed to also freeze as all sound stopped. He could have sworn he just heard someone call his name. He stopped in place and waited, but there was no follow up. He carefully turned in place and stopped when he came full circle. Thinking whatever made that sound would make it again if he was facing it. Ninjas are taught to always have their senses splayed out and to always know how many people are around them at any given time. But, he was so mentally drained and he just wanted to go lay on that rock like a snake. He brushed off the noise but took the next step cautiously. He walked a few more steps and heard a twig begin to crack under his foot before shirting to his right was heard.

      “Ah, wait!” In an instant hands were on his upper arms and the smell of a person came to his nose. His brain wasn't connecting fast enough to tell him the smell was familiar before he pushed whoever it was away with staggering steps. This was a mistake. He stumbled father then he though off the path. There was someone here with him. His brain wasn't connecting fast enough to tell him what direction and escape route would be. There was someone here with him. And his walking stick was laying on the ground somewhere.

_What if it's red?_

       Naruto moved his head this way and that while backing up, not in a sense of trying to see something but more along the lines of, trying to avoid something. He was beginning to adjust to the red flares that kept their distance to him, but to see one up so close? He didn't think he could take it. Not right now. Luckily, the other person seemed to take pity on him and spoke;

      “Naruto, I'm sorry I scared you I didn't mean to. It's me,” the voice moved closer but also lower, as Naruto heard whoever was before him knees crack as they crouch down. “It's me, Kaka-sensei.”

      The familiar smell finally caught up to his brain. The scent of birch wood and hay. The man before him even used the found nickname Naruto has given to him and still called him even if he wasn't technically his teacher anymore. Naruto felt a smile start to form on his face only for it to be washed away as realization came. Immediately he turned the exact opposite direction of Kakashi's voice and lowed his head. To Kakashi, at this point in time, seeing his cherished student behave in such a way had him come to the almost obvious conclusion that Naruto did not want him to see his eyes as they were now. Kakashi's eyes narrowed in both sadness and fondness as his gaze traced Naruto's shoulders. Little did he know what was really going on.

      Naruto turned away from his Sensei whom he would be happy to hear from in any other situation, but it wasn't his own appearance he was worried about. He was more worried about the other's appearance instead. He was worried...to see red. If he were to gaze at his beloved Sensei, only to see red...he trembled at the thought. A wave of anguish and fear washing over him.

      So he turned away and slowed his panic. Hoping for his Sensei to leave quickly. Kakashi is a very smart man, and he hoped that he would see Naruto didn't want to talk and leave him be. To leave him alone like he was so used to. Like most people found so easy to do.

      His Sensei did not leave. Naruto could feel a bitter laugh try to choke out of him.

     “Naruto.” He called. He watched those shoulders tense up before relaxing in defeat, but the other kept his head turned.

      “It's been a while, Naruto.” He continued. “I was very worried about you, you don't know what a relief it is to see you out and about on your own. But that's to be expected from the Village's Number One Knuckle-Headed Ninja.” Kakashi ended this with a smile even though the other couldn't see. It was meant to put the other at ease when in fact that wasn't what he really wanted to say. What he truly wanted to say lay deep beneath his words like an undertone; 'It's been too long. I've been bothering the Hokage every day about you. I wanted to see you and it hurts so bad that you don't want anyone around you. That you secluded yourself. You're alone out here? Why isn't anyone with you? Please rely on me.'

      But he couldn't say all that. Not without freaking Naruto out. He learned his lesson from trying to genuinely compliment Naruto before in the past and how...unexpected he reacts to it. And now it not the time to upset him. So he decided to try to go for his nonchalant and typical self to help soothe Naruto. To act like everything was fine even if it wasn't and he felt like millions of words were about to break out of his mouth at any moment. Kakashi's hands twitched from wanting to comfort the other before him before he spotted the walking stick laying on the ground. He was going to pick it up, but the sound of him moving made the other tense again, his shoulder flying up. He stopped in his tracts.

     “Your walking stick is at your feet, behind you.” He kept his tone neutral but couldn't help a twitch of the lip as Naruto, instead of turning around and picking in up, took one big step backwards so the walking stick was in front of him before picking it up. He heard the other mummer a thank you. Silence then, but that was alright. Kakashi watched as Naruto seemed to dance in step a bit before making the connection that he was feeling the ground with the soles of his feet. Taking a quick sweep of the area he could see a very very faint walking trail that Naruto was probably seeking. He was going to say something but Naruto found it quickly on his own. He stood on the path and wiggled his toes in the dirt.

     “Kaka-sensei, which way is the sun right now?” There was a strain to the voice he noted. “Ahhh let's see, hmm it's in the position for 12:30 right now!” Kakashi sounded chipper as he replied and to his immense relief most of the tension in the other boy drained away at the moment as he chipped back another 'thank you!' before turning himself more and walking away. Kakashi trailed behind, trying to allow himself to make more noise. He observed the way Naruto moved himself now. He saw that Naruto kept his cane low, but not low as others who need aid would. The cane's end stayed a good foot off the ground. Instead of tapping side to side it was swung gently back and forth making no noise. It seemed like the cane wasn't being used as a guide like most assume it to be. Naruto's feet, Kakashi noted, seemed to be the actual guide. He walked the same pace as always, a little bit fast because of his height or lack-there-of in order to keep up with others. His feet movement were different though. His feet didn't lift off the ground as high as normal. Instead they stayed low, and with each step he took, whatever foot was leading moved inward first, seeking and feeling for anything in his way before spiraling out to feel for anything else. Each foot did this and while it wasn't very obvious unless you were looking for it, it did add a sway to Naruto's gait that suited him. Kakashi moved slower and watched as Naruto's walking stick hit the edge of a giant bolder sitting in the middle of the clearing. Naruto quickly laid his stick down began patting the rock down. He found a little crevice and to Kakashi's immense surprised managed to squeeze himself in it. It was like Naruto made himself smaller before his very eyes. As the boy made himself comfortable by sitting sideways in the groove Kakashi felt a real smile spread on his face. That smile faded though, as his eyes drifted on the white rope tied around this rock. Kakashi stopped in place.

_A_ _Yorishiro._

An object used to attract spirits and house them for worship. He didn't notice the Shimenawa (white rope) or the Shide (paper streamer) in his suprise to see Naruto. Normally, no person would dare to enter a Yorishiro or use it for their own. But, Kakashi's eye narrowed as he watched Naruto snuggle into his spot. Naruto is not a normal person. As Kakashi walked closer he almost felt that Naruto looked natural sitting there. The sound of him approaching almost made Naruto instictivly move his head towards his position but he stopped himself. Instead he burrowed his head more into the moss covered rock, his face half hidden in the shadows. Kakashi decided to stand beside the rock himself but felt the growing silence grate. It wasn't natural, for Naruto to be silent. It was actually painful. But Kakashi had no idea what to start a conversation with. He looked around and confirmed that Naruto came here alone. Alone! 'A horrific accident has scarred him and left him wounded. And yet here he is, alone in a forest.' Kakashi's heart sank as he lowered his gaze. His hands clenched.

      “Why are you still here?” Kakashi shot his gaze to the back of Naruto's head at his words, but Naruto didn't repeat them nor elaborate. The question hung in the air like a knife. Why? Why wouldn't he be here? Kakashi thought of the best way to approach the situation before him, while locking his emotions about said situation away.

       Naruto was hurt-No. Naruto had his sight taken from him in another village. Afterwards, when he got back he talked to the Hoakge but about what is unknown. For some reason, after the talk Naruto requested to not meet or been seen by anyone of his comrades or friends and the Hokage agreed to it. It's been two months and thirteen days since he has returned and there has been no news of him whatso ever. Kakashi mused on how the lack of news has been effecting Naruto's friends. They originally agreed to no contact because they thought it wouldn't be long until Naruto was well again. It was never long before he was back on his feet. They all waited the week and two weeks that went by. By the third some of them have gotten nervous at the fact that Naruto all but disappeared from their lives. No new means no word on him or hearing from him. His laugh or his smile or even hearing about a prank or something he did. There was none of it. He quite literally vanished and that didn't sit well with anyone. One a month rolled by and still no sign there was almost an uproar.

_' Poor Iruka, he has been handling it the worst.'_ Kakashi thought of the teacher that has to take a week off because of how unfocused he was. Two months and thirteen days and it was only by sheer luck Kakashi man into him.

_' I was wondering around when I heard a dispute going on between an old lady and shop keeper. If it wasn't for that, if it wasn't for the that fact than I would have past over Naruto without even knowing he was here. But the person who made he kind enough to stop a small dispute like that was him in the first place.'_

       No luck. It seemed like Kakashi wouldn't be able to keep his emotions away from his thinking at this point. It might have been different, maybe, but seeing Naruto in that second he flew to the ground from the tree he was on in an instant. There stood his student, a vibrant part of his life, clad in a hospital robe of all things. His hair blew in the wind over his eyes and his eyes. Kakashi wished he could see them but his hair in the breeze blocked the view. All he could think is that it wasn't fair.

 Why is it that the one who loves everything, who sees the beauty in everything and everyone he meets, why isn't it that he is the who he has to go through this. Someone so loving and kind. Why?

       Naruto asked a question and Kakashi let it wash over him as he got lost in his emotions. Only the sound of nature was there. A bird flying to low broke Kakashi out of his trance but he felt like it was already to late. Naruto seemed to have tense more and more in the absent silent. A cold feeling settled within Kakashi and with a start he realized it was coming from Naruto. An act that seemed like he was blocking Kakashi out with everything he had. Kakashi panicked.

       “Uh, um...you know Iruka has been talking a lot about you?” The cold that lapped at his feet seemed to fade before coming back full force. Kakashi took a step back, but the sound of him moving seemed to make it worse as Naruto flinched. Flinched!

        “Naruto! Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?” Kakashi tried more, unsure what was going on or why Naruto was behaving so differently. He took a step to the side only for Naruto to turn his face inwards to the stone.

        “Naruto-”

        “I'm fine. What are you doing here anyway? Don't you have things to do?” Naruto sat immobile in his cocoon cave.

        “Naruto you know it's okay for you not to be alright. You know-”

        “I already said that I was fine, why aren't you answering my question?”

        “You asked what I was here for.”

        “I asked why are you still here.”

  Kakashi felt his confusion and concern double.

        “You know, we are all worried about you. Me, and all of your friends.” Kakashi knew Naruto had a thing with people worrying about him. How he didn't really want to worry anyone. But he didn't think what he said would have such a result as it did. Naruto quickly shot out of his spot, grabbed his cane that was leaning against the rock and began to walk away.

       “Hey, wait! Where are you going? You have to be careful!”

       “I know what I'm doing.” The words Naruto said stung Kakashi.

_'       Of course you know what you are doing, you've been doing it yourself this whole time!'_

      “Hey, Naruto, I didn't mean to intrude I just saw you while passing through.” Kakashi went to catch in step with the other but that just made Naruto walk faster into the woods.

       “It's fine.” Naruto said through gritted teeth. “If you were passing through then that means you were going somewhere right? Shouldn't you go there?”

      “Why are you trying so hard to get rid of me?” The words left Kakashi's mouth before he could stop them. But once they were out he wasn't taking them back.

       “I know what happened to you is awful!” He shouted while trying to catch up. How was he having trouble catching up to someone who was blind?!

       “But you don't have to go through it alone!” The sunlight coming through the tree branches and leaves created a patteren over them both. Kakashi ran out from behind Naruto to his left side which only served to make Naruto angrier as he tried to follow the sound of his footsteps by tilting his head. Even with his growing frustration Naruto continued to move forward at a fast pace.

      “Naruto, wait for a second would you?” Kakashi called while avoiding a low hanging branch. Naruto, in fact, did not wait a second. Kakashi got closer.

      “Hey,” he reached out a tentative hand to Naruto's left arm.

       “Hey.” he tried again reaching more.

        “Naruto I-”

       “GET AWAY FROM ME!”

        Naruto blindly slapped Kakashi's hand away while turning the opposite direction. The sudden outburst quieted the whole forest. Kakashi stood there, hand still posed, as he watched Naruto breath heavily and tremble. Kakashi didn't know what to do. He wanted to do something. To turn Naruto around and hug him or console him but his brain just wasn't working anymore. It wasn't that he was upset at the outburst. He could never be upset. Naruto has yelled at him before in the past. No, this wasn't what froze him in place. What froze him was the fact the overwhelming fear in Naruto's voice. So pure and loud.

_'He's...afraid?'_

        Naruto was afriad. And at the moment it seemed like he was afraid...of Kakashi. Kakashi watched numbly as Naruto seemed to collect himself, before quickly turning and running away. He wanted to follow after him but he was rooted to the spot. He replayed that scene over and over again in his head.

        But, he saw it. When Naruto hit his hand away he caught a glimps of his face, of his expression.

_'_ _Why? Why did he look...so sorrowful? Why did he look so sad and afraid?'_

It took until Naruto was out of sight before Kakashi's brain rebooted. And when it did he looked into the distance where Naruto went one last time before putting on a determined and serious expression. With a flick of his wrist, he was gone, headed straight for the Hokage's office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments help keep me inspired.


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